Dear Laura,

Mind if we have a word with you? No? Good.

First off, you're fabulous and we love you. Secondly, your taste is fabulous and we love it. Third, no one can fuck with shitheads in the sewing room like you can and for that, we love you. Fourth, you're fabulous.

But honey, we're concerned.

This outfit, like every garment you've sent down the runway, is beautifully tailored, stylish and pretty. Unfortunately, this outfit, like every garment you've sent down the runway, looks like you just pulled something out of your suitcase and handed it to your model to wear.

Now, there's certainly nothing wrong with being a fashion designer who works in one style and for one type of customer. Plenty of highly successful designers have done just that. But sweetie, this isn't fashion; this is Project Runway and we're a little worried that they're going to throw some crazy-ass design challenge at you that you simply won't be able to handle. Shake it up, girl! We know you've got the skills.

You have to make it to the final three because (as we may have stated once or twice) you're fabulous.

Also, because no one can bring it to the sewing room like you can, Bad Mommy.

[Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com]

Angela: It all Depends.

"I just basically peed my pants. I was totally excited. It was so dead on."

"Hi. I'm Angela Keslar, Freelance Fashion Designer.

As you all know from watching me on Season 3 of Bravo's Project Runway, I'm an excitable girl from off the grid in O-HI-O. Sometimes, that excitement leads to unplanned moisture incidents. Hey, we've all been there, right?

Well now we can be there in style. Check it out."

Angela Keslar's Off-The-Grid Piss Panties.

"This is what quality does to a girl...a girl with bladder issues. Super-absorbent cotton lining to hide even the most voluminous issuances and enveloped by the shiniest, skittle-colored satin money can buy, all topped off with my signature rosettes, or as the French say 'mes fleurchons.'

Oui oui, c'est ma fleurchon aux pantolons du piss!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! Oooops!"

"I am so committed to quality as well as style and it shows in the details. Details such as providing one extra signature Angela Keslar fleurchon, for minor repairs or even to adorn your outerwear. Clip it to your purse or wear it in your hair! Stand proudly before the world and say 'Yes, I piss in my pants a lot, but I do it in style!'

$350.00, all this month on QVC."

"I want these piss-panties in every color!"
~Heidi Klum, Supermodel

Quackass.

What else is there to say, really?

Oh yeah, your dress sucked.

I'm a WINNER, dammit!!

Our girl Kayne really thought he had this one locked up.

That is one uber-confident queen there.

"Lalalala. I could stand here and listen to this all day. WinnerWinnerWinner, that's me. Kayne the winner."

And here's the exact moment when he realized he wasn't going to win it and his gracious-loser pageant training reluctantly kicked in. That is one pinched smile.


Now, y'know that Orbitz commercial with the two twinsets trimming their hedges while trying to book a trip to Cancun? Y'know how the blonde one - Dan's wife, for those of us in the know - screws it all up and goes all 20th century by trying to book it with a phone and she's totally not with it because the brown one has a computer installed in her shrubbery and she lands a sweet deal through Orbitz.com and Dan's wife is all secretly pissed but she can't actually say she is, what with this being the suburbs and all, and she squeezes out a thin little "Congratulations"? You know, that one?

He is totally Dan's wife right now, trimmed hedges and all.

Breakfast at Jubilee's

Angela?!?

What...?

How...?

Did Keith leave behind some pattern books?

We don't know where the hell that dress came from, but even we have to admit it passed through "style" and "taste" at some point before it got here. Good job, Angela.

Diane Von Fabulousberg

There's absolutely nothing bitchy we can say about this woman. If she sprouted little wings and took to holding a sparkly wand, she couldn't be any more of the perfect fairy godmother for us. We just want to get some big fluffy pillows, lay at her feet and ask her to talk about fashion. She's perfect.

The "O" stands for "Oh shit. The sun's up."

Jackie O, Robert? Really?

This?

And this?

That is pure "walk of shame" right there.

That's Jackie hailing a cab at 7 am, still drunk, her panties in her purse and last night's makeup reduced to raccoon eyes and a fat lip. She lost the belt to her jacket some time around 4 when she was spinning it over her head standing on top of her barstool. Luckily, the submarine crew she went home with had a little extra rope laying around, so they hooked her up.

Hmmm. We kinda like that Jackie!

Model FRENZY!

It was really great getting to know some of the dress forms this week. As per usual, they ran the gamut from flaky to fabulous. And it's always fun to watch a model process something outside her realm, like strategy and physical exertion. It's like watching cats try to do algebra.

"Oh man, they didn't tell us we had to like, think and move really fast!"

Tim prepped them beforehand by telling them to visualize
the one thing they want more than anything in the world.

Over the Kaynebow.

"Are you freaking kidding me? Shut up.
You should be pretty and seen and not open your mouth."

Oh Kayne. That was beautiful. We couldn't have said it better ourselves. Bravo, little gay brother in bitchery. Bra. Vo. Man, he really brought the gay this week, didn't he?

We rip off our sunglasses in salute, gayboy!

Bradley The Pooh.

Awwwww. We were kind of heartbroken last night when Bradley Bongkirchner got auf'd. Yeah, the outfit was an affront to all that is fierce and fabulous in this world, and yeah, if Cher was standing in front of him when he presented that thing she probably would have ripped his head off and swallowed it whole, but who doesn't love our tubby little cubby all stuffed with fluff?

Bye Bradley!

About Damn Time!

Finally! Our two favorite people paired up and tore it up last night, winning the big prize. Michael and Nazri, you were the Team Supreme and your pairing was magic. This outfit was beautifully tailored and perfect for the challenge.

And it was HAWT.

I don't know about anybody else, but we're buying Elle just to see the TRESemmé ad. Just for that reason, we swear! We don't buy women's fashion mags and then secretly rub the perfume samples on our wrists. Really!

We buy women's fashion mags and use the perfume samples to keep our underwear drawer fresh. Duh!

Oh, and Beyonce? Are you out there? This outfit is so up your alley (with a right turn into "taste" and "tailoring"). Tell your mother to put the hot glue gun down and give this man a call!