They should have wrestled for it.

"I'm gonna pick...Nazri."

"Ha.

I'm gonna kill you in your sleep, y'know."

"WHAT?! Ohmigod, are you kidding me? Look at me! Did you see how I worked the shit out of every frikkin art camp project I had to wear? That paper dress? I was FIERCE! You people are big STUPIDHEADS and when I'm on the cover of Vogue - because who the hell wants to be in Elle anyway - you know what it'll say? I'll tell you what it'll say! It'll say "AMANDA FIELDS IS FIERCE! SUCK IT, BITCHES!!!!!!"

"I'm sorry, Lindsay!"

"Fuck off, Swiss Miss. Yeah, that's right. You better be looking both ways when you come outta that tent at Bryant Park, Bitch."

"Heh.

Suck it, Bitches."

Put down the joint, pick up the phone, and CALL ME!

The fabulous Amanda sent us this:


Bradley Bongkirchner! HOT!

We always thought he was puppy-cute, but that is hot-guy-at-the-gym cute! Looks like he got the Reality Television Makeover, otherwise known as the "Wendy Pepper," or "Shit, do I really look like that?"

Bradley honey, ditch the bitch and make the switch. We are FIGHTING over who gets to do you.

Oy, What a Day We Had!

We had a fabulous time at EMc2's Fall Off the Runway event hosted by Emmett McCarthy yesterday!


This was what greeted us when we arrived around 1:30. Ew. We're SO not about lines.

Fortunately, an almost literal ray of sunshine appeared when Alison Kelly came out. We all said "There's Alison," followed by "She's really pretty" in almost perfect unison. And she is. Prettier in person, if you can believe it, with a tan to die for.

She's also very sweet and posed for us (and about a thousand other people).

Emmett came out shortly after and when we introduced ourselves, he yanked us outta that line and brought us inside. Fabulosity has its advantages, darlings!

No sooner had we entered, when what to our wondering eyes should appear...

KAYNEBOW!

He was being swamped with picture requests, so we barely had a chance to get this snap.

Also,

CHLOE!

Holy cow, she's tiny. And also really pretty.

The inside of the store consisted mostly of another long line to get out into the courtyard, where Tim Gunn was signing T-shirts, bobbleheads, and anything else not nailed down. While we waited in line, several of the designers posed endlessly for pictures. We were amazed at their patience and enthusiasm. We'd be terrible celebrities.

Nick came parading in a moment later, showering sparkles and starshine on everyone.

Nick is (no surprise) a SWEETHEART. Honestly. Supernice, superfriendly, adorable, and exactly what you'd expect. He also loves the blog and declared that we were "geniuses," after which, little hearts floated and popped around our heads.

Bitch has the smallest waist we've ever seen on a grown man. We tried to hate him for that, but it wouldn't stick.

Not long after that, we ran into none other than LauraK of Blogging Project Runway who, God bless her, yanked us out of line again (connections, darlings, connections!) and brought us out into the courtyard to meet Tim.

Laura is very sweet and her enthusiasm and support for Project Runway is simply unparalleled. She was rapidly unpacking bobbleheads for signing and then repacking the signed ones to take to the front of the store.

Tim was doing his Tim thing and trying his best to sign his name at least 10 or 15 times a second, so we kind of hovered around when Emmett called to us from the crowd and said someone wanted to meet us.


AMANDA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girl is TALL! And yes, she can really talk. We dished a little about other models and talked a bit about what she wore for the shows. Sweet and funny, she's another one who is exactly what you'd expect. Loveya, girl!

We also got to chat with Mr. Glamour himself,

Malan Breton from Taiwan.

Malan isn't exactly what you'd expect. He's more. Suave to the nth degree. Crazy Suave. James-Bond-would-feel-self-conscious-in-his-presence suave. Malan can spill his drink on you and make it sound like a marriage proposal. "Oh darling, I've spilled my wine down your back. I'm so sorry."

Yes, he really said that and yes, he really talks like that.

He is utterly charming and a little shy, which sort of makes him even more charming.

And then?

And then?

The GREATEST THING EVER happened.

LauraK saw her chance and (God bless her again) leaned in to Tim and said "ThePRGayBoys are here and they want to meet you."

As God is our witness...

We shit you not...

Bitch, do I look like I'm lying...

Tim jumped out of his seat and said "They are? I love those guys! Where are they?"

Now, we were planning to keep it all on the cool side, y'know? Well shit, that plan couldn't have collapsed any quicker as we both blurted out "WE LOVE YOU TOO!"

Hugs! Pictures!

Watch as these pictures literally get progressively gayer before your very eyes.





The gays love fashion!

Tim was unbelievably sweet and generous. Told us he loved the blog and checks it out whenever he needs a laugh. We gurgled something in response but all we really wanted to say was "No, seriously, Tim. What products are you using?" His skin literally glows from 20 feet away.

Tim Darling, you said you wanted to drop us a line but couldn't find our email. Upper right corner, Baby. We'll be sleeping at our desks until we hear from you.

Honestly, EVERYONE was so generous and friendly. This post is sounding uncharacteristically fawning for us, but everyone involved with the event was so nice not just to us, but the throngs of people there. Emmett was so gracious, making sure everyone in the crowd had water if they wanted it, going around and introducing us to people as "ThePRGayBoys" and hustling like crazy to get those signed bobbleheads and t-shirts into his customers' hands. Incidentally, he told us as we were leaving that there are still t-shirts and bobbleheads available for ordering, so hop to it, girls!

The nature of the event meant that we couldn't linger and talk to anyone for as much as we would have liked, but we got a chance to dish a little with the Nikolaki twins, Nick and his very sweet partner David just before we left.


Nick has a smile you can see from space. We could have just pulled up a couple chairs right there on the sidewalk and dished over a chai latte like old friends.

Update: gothamist has some great pics from the event, including our moment of TimLove (scroll down to the slideshow).

If Happy Little Bluebirds Fly...

Our last little bit of sparkle has left the building.

Ahh, Kaynebow. How we will miss you.

Amanda = Hot.

It's to Kayne's credit that he really made the attempt to edit himself last night. From the front, the dress is inoffensive, if bland and a little dated-looking. Evidently, Kayne misunderstood the challenge and didn't realize he was supposed to use more white in the design.

The back, however...

Oh, we love him too much and we're sad to see him go. Suffice it to say, the back looks like the top of a laundry bag and we'll leave it at that.

His certainly wasn't the worst look on the runway last night, but at this point in the competition especially, the judges have to be looking at the entirety of a designer's output to decide who's showing in the tents. Much as we love him, Kayne's just came up lacking. He has tremendous skills, but the world of fashion isn't for him, not at this point.

This isn't the end for Kaynebow, though. We predict that out of all the season 3 designers, he will make the most of his exposure. We hope to see him concentrating on stage wear and costuming, picking up the mantle and becoming this generation's Bob Mackie. It's where his talents lie and he's very good at it. Ms. Parton would only be smart to pick up the phone and call him.

We'll miss his wide-eyed enthusiasm and glittery presence. It was always difficult getting screenshots of his interviews because with all the flailing of the hands and rolling of the eyes and bouncing in his seat, we could never get a clear shot of him. He's so gay, he vibrates with it.

And the rest of the season will be a little less fabulous without him.

Auf wiedersehen, Baby.

Oui! Oui! Je suis tackée!

Dear Diary,
Woke up in Paris this morning. Still fierce.
Love,
Me

The thing we love about Kaynebow is his supreme self-confidence in the face of adversity. You don't grow up a fat gay kid in Tennessee without developing some world-class coping skills and skin as thick as a rhino's. Unfortunately, that attitude may just be his downfall on PR.

This dress is pure Monet. Looks pretty good from far away, but the closer you get, the fuglier it becomes.

Let's get the compliments out of the way. The skirt is gorgeous and flows beautifully, the bodice is a work of architecture and yes, it deserves to be pointed out, Kayne does have a wonderful sense of color.

BTW, Amanda? Fierce, girl! She worked that thing like her next meal (which was probably about 3 days away) depended on it. The styling looked great too. We almost didn't recognize her.

But let's move in a little closer, shall we?

Ahhhh!!!! Our eyes! They burn! Too much, Kaynebow! Way, way too much!

Here's the thing about using asymmetry in design. It should be used to make a statement, therefore, it should be used sparingly. The top of the bodice was asymmetrical, the bottom was asymmetrical, the trim was asymmetrical and the lacing was asymmetrical. That's not making a statement, it's making a speech. Loudly. Through a bullhorn. With a lisp.

Oh, Tim. Say "visible boning" again. It makes us weak.

This is what we mean about his fierce self-confidence doing him in. If he can't edit himself (and it appears he can't), then he needs to listen to the people who are telling him to do so.

In 1977, one of us made a Christmas corsage in Cub Scouts for his mother out of this exact same material. How is it that Kayne managed to shop in a high-end fabric store in Paris and come away with something you could find in a craft store in suburbia?

"*gasp!* Ohmigod! Everyone's right! I am a tacky queen!"

Dress Form Drama

There were some mighty scared looking mannequins on the runway this week.

Pickmepickmepickme! I'll shut up I promise! Promisepromisepromisepromisepromise!

It kind of sucks for the models this season, doesn't it? We hardly get to see them at all and how many have been eliminated for a design they never modeled? We want model drama, dammit! Give us the days of Morgan wearing Kevin's bathing suit out for drinks or sobbing in the hallway enveloped in Wendy Pepper's deviously maternal bosom.

Which is why this tableau filled us with such glee.

Amanda: *shriek!* OhmiGOD! Ohmigodohmigodohmigod! Hahahahahahaha! I'm in!
Nazri: ...
Clarissa: ...

Amanda: Hahahahahahaha! Oh god I have to pee now. Look! I'm doing a little dance! It's the "I'm in" dance! I'm in! I'm in! Ohmigod you guys, I'm in! Can I just tell you how relieved I am?
Nazri: ...
Clarissa: ...
Jia: ?

Amanda: *gasp!* OhmigodIcan'tbelieveit. I can't BELIEVE IT. Can you guys believe it? I was totally scared that Kayne wasn't going to pick me because he said I talked too much which I totally don't think I do but he's just pissed because I can talk faster than he can and anyway he's so competitive but he's also under a lot of stress and besides I can't talk bad about him because HE PICKED ME and I will love him forever for that even though I think he might be gay but don't tell him I said that. OhmiGOD, I'm in!
Nazri: ...
Clarissa: ...
Jia: ...?

Amanda: Whew! Gotta fan myself! I was sweating out there! But! I'm in! No more sweating for me! Except if Kayne fucks up the next challenge but you guys, I am totally going to work the shit out of that thing whatever it is plus I will not talk too much when he's fitting me and trying to glue the glitter on or whatever because hello! He's trying to work!
Nazri: ...
Clarissa: ...
Jia: ...??

Amanda: Whew! So! What's up with you guys?
Nazri: ...
Clarissa: ...
Jia: Speak...slowly...please?

Kayne and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Princess Pinking Shears really fell apart this week, didn't she?

There, there, little Kaynebow.

Hey, you know what? That color looks really good on you. Yes, we know you love color because you're from the South, but you haven't always wielded color wisely when dressing yourself. Pink and orange are not good colors for someone who's...well, pink and orange.

You should lose the choker, though.



Anyway...HONEY. That DRESS.

Oh, we can't even rip it that much. Laura did a better job than we ever could, anyway. So did you, for that matter. It's just SUCH an explosion of bad taste, y'know?

Still, there's something a little "Academy Awards '72" about it. It almost/sorta could have worked with different color choices.

"Tim Gunn said mean things about my dress!"

Aw, this warmed our cold, bitchy hearts. We've all been there, Kaynebow. Just remember what they taught us in the handbook: "I am FIERCE and FABULOUS and I NEVER LET THEM SEE ME CRY!" Although we have to admit, if you had collapsed into big wracking, drag queen sobs, it's quite possible we would have spontaneously combusted from pure entertainment overload. Kudos to you for holding it together, girl. On-camera, anyway.

But then you did something you really, really shouldn't have.

You got into it with Bad Mommy.

Sweetie, she eats her young. Now, far be it from us to cast aspersions on the smack-talking abilities of our Oklahoma sisters, but Laura is definitely operating on a different sphere of smack. Even we would approach her warily. Like a caged tiger. In a beaded cocktail dress.

Jeez, there's a lot of junk food on that table. No wonder everyone was so cranky this week.

In the end, you prevailed, due in no small part to your orange-hued fairy godmother, Duchess Kors herself, stepping in and defending you. And all that stress you'd been holding in came out in one tiny explosion of drama-queeninity:

Oh, Mary. Get a hold of yourself, your slip is showing.
They're not taking her out back and shooting her, for God's sake.

And hey, look on the bright side.

At least you figured out a way to shut her up.